im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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