It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
