All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
