she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize