do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
