Did you just see the Batmobile???
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
