You're completely useless in the revolution.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
