I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
