you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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