i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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