did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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