maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
is wine microwaveable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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