Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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