She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I pour the whiskey from now on
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
