I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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