You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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