Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
