I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
