3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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