No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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