What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
