can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
