took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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