i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize