they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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