I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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