watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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