Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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