Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
