We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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