im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
