I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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