Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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