Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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