You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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