No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
