oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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