i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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