We're like a lot better than the average bears
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
