So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Enjoy the penises
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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