fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
