Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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