when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
