My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
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My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
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No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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