i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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