i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
