By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
