Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
