So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
