its not stalking. its research.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
whose parrot is this?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.