that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?