I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you win again, gameday.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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