i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
