I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
