Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
