We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
