Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
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STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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