dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
