Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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