i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
