we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
