Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
